You were there

pexels-photo (1)

Through the pains, heartaches

Delays, doubts, and fears

Through the struggle

Denials, and strife

You were there


You are loyal and faithful

A dependable rock

You believed in me

And taught me to do

Likewise, my best friend


You opened my heart

To see the challenge

As a phase, a process that

Will bring forth my inner

Beauty and strength


You showed me the light

You took away my fears

You guided my steps

You gave me victory


You are always here

You are my strength

My pillar and my refuge

Today I say, thank You.

© Amaka Paul 2016


Awakening to self


Answers that I seek

in the silence of my heart

questions abound

opinions innumerable

so much sound

no melody, searching,

peace eludes


So much clamor for silence

jumbled conversations

going around in circles

returning to the starting point

running to silence for clarity


With silence

rearranging, analyzing

I let go, be in the flow

only then,

awakening to self

©Amaka Paul 2016

Photo: Eli Boschetto

Hell is paradise


the sound had an eerie finality to it

she wouldn’t make it out of there

plop and no ripples


this nightmare is driving me insane

those eyes would never cease to haunt me

the silent plea for help

ignored in the heat of the moment

all for the prize of a mean name tag

and now what


sweats pouring down my back in the winter

looking behind me at every instance

heart banging threatening to desert our space

feet restless, lips dry and screams only I can hear

she torments me so


I must confess and suffer my hell

it would be a much better hell than this

I should have spoken up

now, hell is paradise

©Amaka Paul 2016



don’t say it, please


You are always in my thought

deep in my heart is where you reside

I try to reach out to you

but your eyes

they push me away


longing for those days when

your hands couldn’t stay still

your eyes caressed my body

and your touch tamed my wildness

these eyes push me away and

your hands are steady


We have grown so distant that

words fail me when we are together

I fear for you, for us

I long for a heart to heart

but your eyes

they push me away


Don’t say it, please

let’s make this work.

© Amaka Paul 2016

image source:google


scarlet vessel


She is slowly tipping over,

Haunted by visions

Only her eyes can see

They think she is beyond redemption

Reaping the fruit of her wild oats


She howls at night

Sleep at the break of dawn

And then screams some more

They mimic her gestures

And laugh at her prophecies

She is convinced

ghosts of her past wouldn’t let her be

They taunt and hound her


She must make amends

Confess her many trespasses

The people must see her for who she truly is

A wanton child

they must strip her of all saintliness

make her lose respect in their eyes

How would they know that it’s for the best?


Alas, she would come out glowing

a tale that will hold the congregation

spellbound; been there, done all that

If she could be a vessel after the filth

Then there is a good chance for them too

For me, for you.

© Amaka Paul 2016

image source:pixabay


sweet oblivion


She carries the burden of guilt around

restless and unhappy

the need to know fills her every moment

she wouldn’t ask the question

the answer to which she would give her life for

yet dreads with her very being

It’s better not to know and keep hope alive

eliminate that element of finality

Choosing not to accept what your mind is making up

Believing in your heart that it will turn out well


Her nails ache and bleed

She should have known better

than to have given a nod

to Mia to leave for that mission

She has searched everywhere

no word, nothing

Just a heap of conflicting news

How much longer she would last

With this weight, that has disfigured

Her gait and blinded her vision

Is just a matter of time


If only she could twist the hands of time

She won’t have to carry this load

That’s threatening to erode her sanity

she dreads her only companion

but that’s all she can count on now

worrying helps her keep busy and

hastens her slide to the edge

soon it will be sweet oblivion.

© Amaka Paul 2016

image source:google


Behind the masks



All along you wanted him

You were a smooth operator

I waited for you to come clean

Why would you want him?

When you knew I loved him

You left me to find out the hard way

did you think I wouldn’t find out eventually?


You had a whole lot to choose from

He had me and still went further with you

I quit trying to rationalize, not worth it

Just that I had to find out the ugliest way

You weren’t willing to let me know

And he wasn’t man enough

Your silence was intentional

To drive the knife in way deep

To make the pain deep as to leave me breathless


I wonder, but then I have myself to blame

warned, but I chose not to listen

I trusted you with my whole being

ignored the signs and lies,

The secret visits and text messages,

I chose to trust you, my bosom friend

I did, because, I saw only the good in you


After all, I have known you throughout my life

Or thought I did, how wrong I was

We grew up together, did everything together

Maybe it all happened for a reason

To reveal the real face behind the facade


Your smug face

I see every day in the office

A job I got for you,

no atom of remorse

Do you have a heart at all?

How do you feel

marrying your best friend’s fiancé behind her back?

How do you sleep

at night knowing you have hurt another so deeply?

hope you sleep well


I have made peace with myself

Knowing I deserve a lot better than him

It was only a surface wound and

I have the pleasure of watching you

die every day that I live


© Amaka Paul 2016

image source:google