Behind the masks



All along you wanted him

You were a smooth operator

I waited for you to come clean

Why would you want him?

When you knew I loved him

You left me to find out the hard way

did you think I wouldn’t find out eventually?


You had a whole lot to choose from

He had me and still went further with you

I quit trying to rationalize, not worth it

Just that I had to find out the ugliest way

You weren’t willing to let me know

And he wasn’t man enough

Your silence was intentional

To drive the knife in way deep

To make the pain deep as to leave me breathless


I wonder, but then I have myself to blame

warned, but I chose not to listen

I trusted you with my whole being

ignored the signs and lies,

The secret visits and text messages,

I chose to trust you, my bosom friend

I did, because, I saw only the good in you


After all, I have known you throughout my life

Or thought I did, how wrong I was

We grew up together, did everything together

Maybe it all happened for a reason

To reveal the real face behind the facade


Your smug face

I see every day in the office

A job I got for you,

no atom of remorse

Do you have a heart at all?

How do you feel

marrying your best friend’s fiancé behind her back?

How do you sleep

at night knowing you have hurt another so deeply?

hope you sleep well


I have made peace with myself

Knowing I deserve a lot better than him

It was only a surface wound and

I have the pleasure of watching you

die every day that I live


© Amaka Paul 2016

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