If you value what you have you will fight to keep it. We are always looking out for the next tip to help get better at our jobs. In a bid to impress our bosses and keep our job, we go in search of the next best training to improve our output and gain promotions in the office. But we don’t try half as much in our marriages. If we only exerted a little more effort in making our marriages better, it would be very much worth the try.  In marriage no one-size fits all, what is working for me may not work for you. However, it wouldn’t hurt to give these suggestions a try.

Talk with your partner. Talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. I always look forward to sharing stuff with my husband. I know that with him I am free to say it as it is. We talk about virtually everything. Confide in your spouse. Who better to cry your heart out to than him?


Learn to appreciate your partner. Little things like thank you matter a lot but it’s often neglected. It is very easy to take people for granted. Say thank you when your significant other does things for you. It might seem common but it goes a long way. When you appreciate people they do more.


Voice out your hurt
When your partner hurt you, talk about it. Don’t bottle it up. It’s okay to get angry we are only human. Don’t go to bed without thrashing out whatever it is that has gone wrong. If you do, bottled-up emotions tend to blow out when we least expect and for the wrong reasons too.


Listen to understand
Put away the phones and TV remote and listen. That TV program can wait. I know, that urge to continue watching and pretend to be listening at the same time and silently wishing that he will stop. Yea right, guilty as charged. Forget every other thing. Listen to hear what your spouse is saying; when you do, your response will come out right.


When you love someone you want to show them. Action speaks louder than words. Make love in such a way that the thought of your spouse alone arouses you. Make it fulfilling and enjoyable do not allow long breaks if you can help it. If you can go at it daily by all means do.


Pray Together
Always pray together as a family, it fosters togetherness and give little room for malice.


Go out. Just the two of you.
Make out time to enjoy each other’s company. In our case, we take the kids to my parents who are more than glad to have them. We either go to the cinemas or watch movies at home but more than anything we value our quiet time together. It reminds us so much of when it was just the two of us. We focus on each other. Go on vacations visit new places, discover new things just the two you, and rekindle that flame of love.


Add humor to your daily life, see the best in your spouse, share jokes and laugh out loud. It’s beautiful when you are married to your best friend, no inhibitions. You are free to be you.


The only constant thing in life is change. Human beings change and the chance of our better-half changing is high. However, we must seek to understand them better and not be confrontational or judgmental. If we are open in our relationship we would be in a better position to know what is going on with our spouse.


Say I love You and mean it
Yes, you read right! Always tell your spouse how much you love them.


Marriage is an institution we learn as we go. We must keep an open mind to run with what is working and drop what is not. Every day is a new opportunity to make our homes a haven for our spouse and children.

I would love to hear from you, let’s share what we do to make our marriages a happy one.


By Amaka Paul


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